For the trip of a lifetime

This is something that I penned down around the late summer of 2005. It was born out of a feeling of escapism as it becomes clear.. but somehow I think it was also a resurfacing of a strong hidden desire which is a direct offspring of a different side of my personality, a more carefree, wild and adventurous one. The me who is unafraid of changes, effortlessly melds into new surroundings, abandons inhibitions for the sake of thrilling and astounding new discoveries and goes on journeys of self discovery, both within and without. She doesn't have a name and in that nameless-ness she can be anyone!

.....

I'm suddenly feeling the strain of regular life. I have everything I could want or need yet somehow, somewhere... an unrealized dream lurks within me.

I want to go away to someplace far away, someplace exotic, where people do not know me, live under a more mellow sunshine... Its a dream... a simple life. To wash away the grime of a mundane existence.

the door to new possibilities

A forbidden romance maybe. I want to have a new name, a new existence.

Marseilles would be nice or perhaps Florence or maybe Cuba. I need to belong to someplace else for sometime; to somebody else... have a new past. Live a forbidden life... walk with someone else... wear something new and different... dance to an unknown unheard music. Live with someone else. Taste different food.

I want to indulge in every indigenous pleasure that life has to offer.

Is it possible to borrow a stranger's life for a week? Walk on a different soil, barefoot... eat wild berries... be true to life and its possibilities. Be a different person. I want to live the unknown passions. I have to travel... I will someday. And it will be a new life... strange, mystic and full of surprises.

It will be an Adventure! and I will go!!

Searching in Eternity

So much I have yet to say
but time is short,
and I cannot stay.


So much I have left to do
If I can't do it all,
forgive me, won't you?


.....

The world's a maddening crowd,
and I'm searching for your face

A face I've never seen before,
that which sands of memory couldn't erase


And since time immemorial,
as long as I've been


Your face was all that stood out clear,
and that is all I've seen


.....


In the darkest of nights, amidst wretchedness and misery
your voice rings out so clear;


In the brightest of mornings, with dewy sunshine
I feel your love as if you were here.

Grace

I find beauty in the rain
as it washes away my pain,

In the lightning flashing me by
I see an Angel in the sky;

Casting pearls upon the earth
to heal and soothe, to mend my hurt.



.....


In the morn
when I walk on forlorn,
the Angel watches over me.


In the noon
with the humming of the bee,
the Angel resides in me.


In the dusk
after the fight, 
the Angel brings me light.


In the night
as I peacefully sleep,
my company she does keep.


So I thank you Father; for the Angel
who comfort does me brings
as I tread alone, on my own;
through trials, tribulations and dreaded things.


.....


For she brings me light
-when my torch is not alight,
and holds my hand in pain;


for she touches my soul
and mends the hole
and makes me happy again.


.....


And I thank you yet Father
for my life on this soil;
and for the beauty all around
but I thank you more
for giving me heart,
which by your love is bound!

The Witness

I look into the night sky, a deep inky blue
the moon awake in heaven;
a solitary loon. 


The dead leaves beneath my feet withered away too soon,
windswept and weather beaten; the forget-me-nots, too soon forgotten.
and I ask myself...


Did I love in vain?
with a heart that still beats to love's refrain.

Is it so hard to find or explain,
and I think to myself... Am I a vagabond?
or a bold insane...


.....


The pale moon haunts the ocean,
The scent of the woods mixes a heady concoction,
It fills my senses, it reaches my soul.

I hear the mournful cry of the nightbird and something fills me...
I feel awake and stirred.


I feel my heart broken and bleeding
it bled for an eternity,
now it doesn't hurt.

.....


I stand on the shore
silver sands beneath my feet,
a silver ocean before me
alluring me to it.


The waves comes and reach for me
and beckoning me, they retreat.


So I took a chance
and advanced
and went up to meet...


It embraced me lovingly,
caressing my all,

A chill rushed out of me
the sorrow called life was gone.


Now I'm happy, now I'm free;
No longer shall I mourn.

......


And the pale moon in the night sky
a deep inky blue
strangely ebbing in heaven
a watchful solitary loon.